One Size Doesn't Fit All: A Discussion on Strategies to Improve Mental Health in the Graduate School Population - Elian Buchi

November 14, 2014 - this is a day that will forever be ingrained in my mind. You see, this day was when my parents, two brothers and I flew from our war-torn homeland in Syria as refugees, to our new home in Pennsylvania. Waving goodbye to everything that had been familiar to me, and hugging everyone that I had known and loved was overwhelming to say the least. I remember that as the airplane tires touched down at Pittsburgh International Airport and we taxied to our gate, I began to have that sensation of a pit in my stomach. I had so much fear of all the new and unknown things coming my way. Leaving the comfort of the stone buildings and working in my family’s restaurant in Syria, driving to our new home, and seeing these large trees, residential neighborhoods was a stark change in my reality. This theme of change was inevitable at that point in my life. Looking back now, I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to be where I am today, yet I would be lying if this did not come with challenges. I would call this the “snow season” of my life because it honestly was a blur. Like the snow screen on a television, I was trying to assimilate into a new culture, a home, and a largely unfamiliar language. In some respects, I think my journey in graduate school can be applied to this. We are constantly learning about the culture of empathic patient centered care, doing so at our new home (The University of Pittsburgh, Go Panthers!) and yes, even learning all new diseases and genetic concepts that can feel like a new language. Through all of these changes, I continued to reflect on myself, finding that I had that pit in my stomach similar to when that plane landed at PIT. Did I know what this sensation of a pit in my stomach was…no. It took intense self-reflection to realize that I was anxious and in fact, burnout as these new expectations that were set before. I truly felt mentally exhausted and overwhelmed, as if one more task would be too much to bear. Trying to master the numerous PowerPoints, understand the brand new concepts, all while building consistent and empathic patient interviewing skills, this took its toll on me both mentally and physically. I found myself sitting in front of my cherrywood desk in my apartment, staring at my computer screen asking myself if this was all worth it?
With my negative self-talk and the toll that this was taking on my health, I knew it was unacceptable, yet I did not know how to fix this myself. As I continue to reflect, I first realized that I did not know what exactly mental health was. Additionally, I did not know how to articulate exactly how I was feeling. Yes, mental health is a term that we all have heard multiple times in presentations and trendy online posts about improving this, but what does it boil down to? What is and isn’t anxiety, burnout, and depression? More importantly, what can I do to help myself get to a state in which I can healthfully operate? In my view, this is not a one size fits all solution. Someone won’t come around, wave their magic wand and deem me cured. I realized that this is going to take work and support from others. What I am going to share is my own personal reflection, and my hope is that this will inspire you to take stock in what is your own mental health with ideas on how to improve this.
As I continue along my period of lifelong self-discovery of my own mental health, I have found that it is important to realize that the solution to positive mental health is not a straight line. There are many hills and valleys that have culminated into my inner strength and desire to rebuild my positivity and confidence to help get to where I am today. Much like a recipe takes multiple ingredients, trial runs and yes even multiple taste tests before it comes together, I would like to share some of the ingredients that have helped me have a more positive outlook on my own mental health. When I started graduate school, I found myself overwhelmed by the sheer volume of new things. If I am being completely honest with myself and my viewers, I let the fear of the unknown consume me. There would be times that I would sit at my same cherry wood desk with my laptop open, asking myself, “Am I capable of doing this?” This negative self-talk went on for several weeks until my loved ones (mainly my amazing fiancée) realized that I needed help. Through some self-discovery, I decided that I was going to establish boundaries that work for me, so that I am able to set time aside for myself to help achieve a fulfilling life outside of graduate school. I decided that each day, I was going to do something small for myself, something that I personally enjoy and brings a positive point of enjoyment to the day. For me, these include cooking and exercising, as I strongly believe that physical and mental health are interconnected in the intricate web that have helped me get through those hills and valleys. Setting aside forty-five minutes daily to go on a run or taking a walk with my friends, helps me clear my headspace and promote my overall wellness. In regard to my schoolwork, I decided that I would make a manageable to-do list for each day. I also have the expectation that yes, life gets in the way and it is okay not to complete every item, as tomorrow’s to-do list can absorb today’s. Taking the tasks of my day in chewable bites is something that has positively improved my outlook on graduate school overall. Outside of my personal resources, I found it important to look outside of myself for inspiration. I looked at my peers and mentors to lean on during the especially trying times. Having those frank conversations with my cohort and going through the same experiences provides a unique opportunity to support and learn from each other.
In closing, a big picture thought that has helped me on the journey through graduate school has been always reflecting back on my reason “Why?”. Why did I choose to pursue becoming a genetic counselor? In short, I became a genetic counselor to help patients and their families through what will be one of the most difficult and uncertain times in their lives. I have the immense opportunity to be in this country, in a graduate program in a field that I love surrounded by supportive friends and family. I am incredibly grateful for the inner strength that my story has given me. I want to be that person who can sit with a patient and their family to help them truly understand what condition they are diagnosed with and what options there are available. In life, when we are given circumstances that are challenging, I choose to now look at these as opportunities. My reason “Why?” can translate seamlessly into my opportunity for improvement in my own mental health and the health of those around me. The strategies I listed above are the tip of the iceberg, and I hope that they give you inspiration to take stock in how you can improve your own mental and physical health. I encourage each of you to facilitate more discussion that can bring about positive, meaningful change to improve mental health services and reduce the stigma for all. In fact, I urge you to continue fighting the stigma surrounding mental health concerns. In our profession, it is vital that, as genetic counselors, we are best equipped to help our patients and their families find the best solution to an oftentimes challenging diagnosis. To do this with the highest efficacy and empathy, we must first take care of ourselves. After all, the field of medicine is not a one size fits all domain, so our own mental and physical health shouldn’t be either.